The Holiday Exes

Instead of reaching for chocolate, come to Mary's Candy Bar and find something yummy to chew on.

Since Wednesday is "boy day" and the Holidays are upon us I decided to write about the Holiday Exes. You know the ones that crop up whenever nostalgia strikes. Instead of asking them why in the heck they are back for more punishment, I have decided to take them for the gift that they are.

Most of us are of the opinion that we have to own someone. It beefs up our dating resume and our self-esteem. When we break up with them, we feel like we have lost something.

But after many destructive breakups, I have decided to take a different approach. I am grateful for the opportunity to have someone come into and out of my life. I have learned something from them and hopefully they have learned something from me, even if what we learned was how not to do a relationship. So instead of thinking of the relationship as owning each other I have decided to think of it as borrowing each other.

My Mom always told me to return something I borrowed in better condition than when I received it. So now when I break up I try to bite my tongue, be kind, and not flaunt someone new to prove what a catch I am. Since the guys don’t really “belong” to me and vice versa, I am glad I could borrow them for a while.

And the nice bonus is a few guy friends to keep around for company, advice, and a rich life. Not everyone was made to be my guy. I am still of the opinion that there is “the one” or several “ones” and one will finally step through all the hoops it takes to be “the one.” So while I am trying on others for size, I try to keep them in good condition. So that when nostalgia strikes them around the holidays we can be happy to talk to each other with no expectations. And I can wrap up again in their hug, like a comfy old borrowed sweater.